I haven't rocked Charlie in a very long time and I needed this. She melted into me as I held her and listened to her breathe. I picked up her little hand and held it against my face, kissed her what seemed like at least 100 times, and then cried. She's not a baby anymore and while that's exciting, it's sad. I adore watching her learning new things and seeing her inner person emerge. I look at all of my children and think about how I won't remember these moments when they're older. Time passing away and taking these memories with it.
While wiping my tears I started praying. I pray every night for my children but this one was different. You know the prayers where the words flow freely, there's no energy spent, and you know it's coming from your soul.
"God, please take their hearts, and help me preserve them for you. Please give them someone to walk along side them that has their best interests at hand and will never lead them astray from you. Please help them keep their innocence as long as possible and help me guard it as well. Please help me be in the moment and if you have to knock me to the ground to be there then that's what I want. Please let me show your love so that I lead by example."
After I finished praying I sat with Charlie a little longer. I put her in her bed and walked out of her room. My soul felt heavy and sad because I know my babies are growing up and they won't need me as much anymore, but then God told me that it's okay and he has more planned for me.
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| "Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory." (Isa. 45:8; 2 Tim. 2:10) |
